Sunday, May 29, 2005

Most Likely to Survive

A couple of weeks ago, a coworker approached me and said: "Congratulations, we've decided that of all the people on this floor, you're the only one who would survive in prison." I think my response was something like, "What?"

I was pretty much speechless since this seemed to come out of nowhere. I guess I should point out that I'm 6'4" and weigh 300+. (As far as I'm concerned, there's no need to be any more specific than that. Although, it bears mentioning that getting my weight below 300 during this year was a goal of mine, and considering that June is upon me, I really should get started. This is where the whole "bike to work" idea would fit in nicely.) So, I guess from a purely physical consideration, it's not too much of a stretch.

Now, I was selected "Most Athletic" during my senior year, but then they lost the picture, so I wasn't in the yearbook. Oh, well, at least I can now tack the dubious distinction of "Most Likely to Survive Prison" on my resume. It sure beats out "Most Likely to Get Gang-Raped" or other such nonsense.

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Blogger Michael said...

Most likely to survive could also mean most likely to be gang raped. Survival doesn't mean you are the biggest or baddest, but you are doing what every it takes to survive.

If you ever watched OZ look at Beecher, he survived but he was still someone's bitch.

I would say you could fetch a carton of cigs and maybe a joint or two, but that would be about it.

As for the weight loss thing, remember its a lifestyle change, not a diet. If you want to lose it and keep it off you can. But I think you should go up to 500lbs so Jerry Springer can get the forklift and rescue you from your Apartment and show it on TV. But the problem with that guy, was he died 6 months later.

8:11 AM